I just helped Avery to the school bus with all his things. He's leaving today for a Special Olympic meet in Lufkin. They're staying over night in a hotel and I'm not going. I helped him pack his suitcase and sent chips, peanut butter crackers, cookies, apples and drinks. I sent him off with two disposable cameras, new tooth brush and toothpaste, some books to read, hand sanitizer, $30 and a tear.
I am so very excited for him but have an overwhelming desire to go and observe. I am worried too. I'm worried he'll get lost, or will want something or need something. I'm worried he won't do it right or will get in trouble and they'll call me. That I'll get the call that says, "Mrs. S, Avery isn't able to do this, you need to come and get him." I am worried if he'll get his change from his money and if he'll flush the toilet or do any of the hundred things a child can do to prove you were a bad parent. Of course I have the secret or not so secret desire for him to behave in such a way that people will think, "wow he's got great parents!" "Didn't they do a great job!"
This is the first thing he will do without me. Don't get me wrong he's been to his grandparents house over night and gone with one of my friends to the movies and spent the night at their house. This is different, this is huge! A trip with his friends, over night.
It's something I did in high school. I went on theatre trips and even went to Europe. I love remembering those times and want him to have those experiences. I am just finding it hard that there will be memories and experiences I won't be a part of or really won't know. But that's what growing us is, isn't it? It's those times you do spread your wings and start making your own memories. It's about having to remember to flush and get your change and prove that you heard all those things mom and dad have been saying for years.
So my first born is off, without me. With a new toothbrush and toothpaste, disposable cameras, snacks, $30, and a tear. And mom is home cheering him on and hoping it doesn't rain.