We were all in the car and listening to Avery talk about something. I said to Mike, “I wonder what he would have been if he didn’t have down syndrome?, He is so outgoing and such a people person. I bet he would have been a politician.” Mike asked me if I thought he was so uninhibited because of the downs. I think he is in spite of it. Not all kids with downs are as outgoing as he is. Mike told me that he didn’t think Avery’s down syndrome had hurt our life. “No” I said, “but it’s hurt his.”
And that is the part that beaks my heart as a mom. Yes he can do so very much. But there is so much that he wants that he has to struggle for and much he won’t be able to do. And for a moment in time I saw his future if he had it all. And that picture is just too painful.
I don’t want sympathy, or a pep talk. I know how very lucky my son is and I know he will get to do and be so very much. But for that moment I gave in and let myself hurt for him.
And I guess the funniest thing is he never hurts for himself. If there is something he wants to do and he can’t, for whatever reason, he is happy doing something else. So maybe, just maybe there is so very much to be learned.
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